We will figure it out...

I sleep soundly in my bed in Aix en provence,
and suddenly in the morning I get up with a start,
thinking,
worrying,
tensed,
about the ticket prices going high and I need to plan travel in Europe,
How will I travel by myself,
where will I store my luggage,
What if I dont get a hostel,
What if I dont get cheap flights,
And what if I cant go to Prague and Austria,
what if I fail in my examination,
What if I dont submit my resume on time,
What if I dont get a job,
What if I dont click an internship,
What if I like someone my parents disapprove of,
What if I have to room with guys at NC state,
What if my room mates dont give me the house keys,
What if my transcripts dont reach on time at NC state?

So many whats , ifs and buts,
but above all these worries and money is
LIFE.

ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD,
a human beings existence.

I sit in my bed, still staring wild in the open,
how am I supposed to react to this loss of life,
my dearest Didi,
who called me Tito!
I remember not,
how she was when I left for France,
I almost forgot about her,
But now,
when I hear of her loss,
Tears fall through my eyes,
but they stop.

they do not fall again.

cuz I am 1000 miles away,
apart from the commotion,
the scene,
the situation,
the feelings,
the relation.

I am in my own life,
busy with my own worries and tensions and stupid thoughts!

While I worry,
what I will eat for dinner,
while we discuss some stupid stuff with Sara,
while Kevin is over for laundry,
while I apologize to Tim for the petty discussion,
while I worry about my innovation project with Paula,

miles apart, my father is worrying,
how to cremate her
when to cremate her,
to wait or not to wait ,
for my uncle who is visiting china,

Worry not,
cuz things will fall in place,
and we will figure it out...

the show must go on,
as I sit in my bed,
staring into the wild,
not knowing whom to share the news with,
I skype my brother and cousin,
chat with my sister

my room mates,
aloof of this loss...